When I was little, and when I would cry in my bed at night because I was scared, or had a bad dream, or was nervous, or actually contemplated life, which, is actually something I did as a 6 year old, and I would get nervous about the future; my mom would be there in seconds. My mother, would come up to my bed and tuck in my sheets tight, even around my feet(which I loved) and she would whisper something in my ear. I don't remember all the time what they were, but I know she said them, and that it was real, and how forshadowing it would be for my life later on.
Last night I was crying in my room. Hard. I guess I just take on the whole world all at once, and I always think I'm ready, but I never am. I get small and go to the scary place in my brain. The place the Zoloft doesn't reach, the place the prozac or the lithium won't fix. The place where everything always seems far away.
It was late, and I was crying. My mom came in, tucked my 18 year old legs in, wrapped the sheet around my feet, which I still loved, and whispered:
"Don't worry Little fighter, soon everything will be Brighter."
I'm O.K. now.
z.t. 1:50 a.m.
"The place where everything always seems far away."
ReplyDeleteI think I have a place like that in my brain too.
p.s. I just bought a new book: The Wild Things by Dave Eggers.
Yes, it's a novel.
Yes, it's from the same guy who wrote that extraordinary genius book that you tried to read.
Yes, it's based on Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak.
Yes, it's the novel that the film adaptation by Spike Jonze is based off of.
Yes, inside all of us is a wild thing.
I haven't read it yet, but I think it's safe to say that you would like it.
Okay, yes.
ReplyDeleteLet's be friends this summer?
You, are wonderful.
ReplyDeleteThis was beautiful.
Thank you.